Friday, 25 July 2014

Face the brutal facts

I've been lying to myself for the past few weeks. I want to be out running a minimum of 3 times per week. My key indicators have been my long run of 3 hours and my yassos. My yassos have been less than 4:30 min for 800 m with a 4:00 min rest. That's cool since my goal is to run a 4:30 hr marathon my yassos are ok. Today I did 10 of them at 4:20. That's a good indicator.

My other indicator has been my 3 hour run. I've done a couple of them and they are getting easier, not easy, but easier. Unfortunately my gps from years back is broken so I haven't really know what speed I've been doing. Since the yassos have been ok and the long run feels good I've convinced myself that the long run time is just fine. I could have used the gps on my phone but it the battery doesn't last for 3 hours using the gps so I haven't bothered.

Because these two indicators have been good I've been slack, lazy. I haven't trained as hard as I know I need to. I've given myself the excuse that I'm saving my muscle by only getting in 2 runs per week. Lies, especially lies to oneself, are so easy to believe when it makes life easier. And these lies have caused me to drift from my plan. Facing the brutal facts means seeing with fresh eyes what is blatantly obvious to anyone who has any ounce of concern. I didn't choose to face the facts, they jumped out at me.

As I was heading out for a one hour run I thought I would use the phone's gps as the battery was full and it was only going to be for one hour. I'm slow. Way, way too slow. Embarrassingly slow. The yassos are on track which means I have the speed but I'm not able to maintain it over the distance - even for one hour. With each passing 5 minutes my phone would tell me the distance. The first time it spoke I thought the gps was still getting a lock so the timing was out. By the third timing I was sure that the problem was me. By the 50 minute mark I was facing the brutal facts and I didn't like it.

There really are only two options when the facts brutally scream reality into your soul - deny them or change. Denial is easy but it comes with a price. In running a marathon the piper must be paid. I either pay the price now in order to run a good run leaving me satisfied and fulfilled or I pay the price of defeat - not of the marathon but of myself. Not running a marathon in the desired time is sad but if you give your best you stand tall knowing that you could have done nothing else. But to try halfheartedly under the pretense of giving one's best is to lie to oneself and that's defeat of the soul. Denial is too hard, too costly.

And so I have been shocked into reality. My conviction to run 3 times per week is now strong and sure and no longer clouded by lies. The path ahead will still be difficult but the prospect of satisfaction is more sure.

8 weeks to go.

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