Face the brutal facts

I've been lying to myself for the past few weeks. I want to be out running a minimum of 3 times per week. My key indicators have been my long run of 3 hours and my yassos. My yassos have been less than 4:30 min for 800 m with a 4:00 min rest. That's cool since my goal is to run a 4:30 hr marathon my yassos are ok. Today I did 10 of them at 4:20. That's a good indicator.

My other indicator has been my 3 hour run. I've done a couple of them and they are getting easier, not easy, but easier. Unfortunately my gps from years back is broken so I haven't really know what speed I've been doing. Since the yassos have been ok and the long run feels good I've convinced myself that the long run time is just fine. I could have used the gps on my phone but it the battery doesn't last for 3 hours using the gps so I haven't bothered.

Because these two indicators have been good I've been slack, lazy. I haven't trained as hard as I know I need to. I've given myself the excuse that I'm saving my muscle by only getting in 2 runs per week. Lies, especially lies to oneself, are so easy to believe when it makes life easier. And these lies have caused me to drift from my plan. Facing the brutal facts means seeing with fresh eyes what is blatantly obvious to anyone who has any ounce of concern. I didn't choose to face the facts, they jumped out at me.

As I was heading out for a one hour run I thought I would use the phone's gps as the battery was full and it was only going to be for one hour. I'm slow. Way, way too slow. Embarrassingly slow. The yassos are on track which means I have the speed but I'm not able to maintain it over the distance - even for one hour. With each passing 5 minutes my phone would tell me the distance. The first time it spoke I thought the gps was still getting a lock so the timing was out. By the third timing I was sure that the problem was me. By the 50 minute mark I was facing the brutal facts and I didn't like it.

There really are only two options when the facts brutally scream reality into your soul - deny them or change. Denial is easy but it comes with a price. In running a marathon the piper must be paid. I either pay the price now in order to run a good run leaving me satisfied and fulfilled or I pay the price of defeat - not of the marathon but of myself. Not running a marathon in the desired time is sad but if you give your best you stand tall knowing that you could have done nothing else. But to try halfheartedly under the pretense of giving one's best is to lie to oneself and that's defeat of the soul. Denial is too hard, too costly.

And so I have been shocked into reality. My conviction to run 3 times per week is now strong and sure and no longer clouded by lies. The path ahead will still be difficult but the prospect of satisfaction is more sure.

8 weeks to go.

Poor Man's Therapy

Therapy is expensive but if you need it then it's worth every cent you spend. Long distance running is poor man's therapy.

In long distance running, the 2-3 hour range, there's a lot of time to think. Lots of time to think and to think and to think. The time is great for working through ideas and concepts and all the good and bad stuff that's going on in your life. But there's something that happens, at least to me, at about the 2 hour mark that turns thinking into therapy.

Around 2 hours into the run I get exhausted. Really exhausted. Each step I take just adds to the exhaustion. Physical exhaustion becomes emotional exhaustion. The emotional walls that keep out the bad thoughts, the pains of yesterday, the thoughts of hurt and anger - those walls come down and I have to face them. I can keep running but I can't run away from myself. Unresolved stuff stares me in the face. They become my running partner. And they don't shut up. They want to talk. They want me to talk. They want to find peace and they don't care if I don't - at least in that moment.

And so I keep running and I keep thinking and the walls keep tumbling down and the conversation continues. And I'm too tired to keep them quiet and I'm too tired to put up a fight and so I listen to what they say to me. They don't shut because they are the ghosts of yesterday and they long to find their peace so they can move onto to another realm. And if I work with them, if I listen, and if I hear where they are coming from they will lead me to parts of my soul that I cannot go on my own. And once there I see the pain and the hurt and without all the distractions and denials I embrace the pain for what it is, for what it was, so that I can keep going forward, so that I can keep running.

Running is as much an emotional game as a physical one. Work with it and the emotional benefits will be as great as the physical ones.

9 weeks of therapy left.

Embrace the pain.

I worked with Peter years ago. He ran lots of sub 3 hour marathons. He inspired me. Peter gave me some advice about marathons that I have always remember. He said, "If you are going to run a marathon then you had better get used to pain." Marathons are painful.

Getting out of bed 3 hours earlier to fit in the long run is painful. Changing diets to stay healthy is painful. Having to increase the discipline of my bed time routine is painful. Running when I am exhausted is painful. Running out of energy 7kms from home is painful. Getting blisters on my feet half way through the training run is painful. Dealing with my emotional baggage that turns up mid run is painful. Having my shirt rub my nipples raw is painful. Falling short of my goal that I spent months and months preparing for is painful. If you are going to run a marathon you will need to embrace pain.

If you are a body builder than you know this. You understand hitting failure. You understand DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness). You understand the need to push your body beyond comfortable in order to make it stronger. The same applies to running a marathon - only the pain is different. In body building the effort is intense and short. In running marathons the effort is sustained and, obviously, long. But you get the principle - pain is not the enemy; pain is the evidence of your progress. You know the cliches and slogans.

For those of you who are inactive who are reading this please note that I am not talking about acute pain. Acute pain is not good. This week my lower back was so sore it hurt to walk. That's acute pain. I missed two running sessions because I had to rest my back. The back is healing well so I could run my yassos today. Yassos are a tough run. Interval training is tough. It needs to be because I'm training myself to run faster. If I run comfortably then I won't improve so I must run at an uncomfortable pace so that my legs get stronger and faster. This is the pain that I must embrace. In body building if I want to get stronger I must lift heavy weights. Lifting light weights is comfortable but it won't make me stronger. To improve I must embrace the pain of discomfort.

Yes, you will suffer as you prepare for your marathon. But it's worth it. You become a finisher. You become one of those people that can start with a big goal and break it down into little goals. You become one of those people who understand consistency and progress and set backs and effort. You become a better person. A stronger person. You become a finisher. And that's worth suffering for.

What pain have your endured in order to achieve your goal? Was it worth it? For those of you who have run long races what pain did you endure in your training? What pain did you endure on race day? Leave a comment below as an encouragement to those who are starting out.

10 weeks to go.

Conflicting Diets

Different diets produce different results.

Depending on what your goals are you need to find a diet (an eating plan) that matches your goals. My challenge is that body building and marathon running have two very different diets. The body building diet is high in protein because muscles need lots of protein to repair and grow. Protein doesn't make a good fuel source which is needed for running long distances. Protein is great as a building source but horrible as a fuel source.

Fuel well

For fuel the body requires carbohydrates. Before a strength training I take carbs to give myself the fuel to have an intense workout. But once the workout is done I don't need a lot of carbs for my lifestyle but I do need protein to repair and build the muscles. While protein is important for running a high carb diet is the norm. Strength training burns some calories but running burns a lot of calories. Today, for example, I burned over 2,000 calories during my long run. 2,000 calories is what I would normally eat for the entire day! That's a lot of fuel I'm burning. Having just a high protein diet won't help. A high carb diet is crucial to running a marathon.

So I have a conflicted diet. On one hand I need high protein for building muscle and for marathon prep I need high carbs. In order to balance both requirements I'm following a body building diet for most of the week but increasing my carbs on the running days. On the days I'm running, and therefore burning lots and lots of calories, I'm eating my normal amount of protein (and fat) and then eating a very healthy size of carbs to compensate.

This is what it looks like in practice. Before my run (which I do in the morning) I take some protein powder as my pre-run drink. I don't eat anything else. I want to run without a stomach full of carbs because I'm training my body to use fat as a secondary fuel source so I don't want carbs in the stomach - protein is fine. Today was a three hour run. I drink lots of water during and after the run. After the run I'll eat a really good meal full of protein, fat and carbs for recovery. My current calorie intact on a normal day is 2,000 calories. Adding what I've lost to running for 3 hours means I need to eat 4,000 calories today - that's not going to happen. I feel sick if I try and eat that many calories. So, today, I make sure that my protein and fat requirements are met and then I eat whatever I feel like in carbs knowing that I won't even come close to 4,000 calories.

On non-running days when I'm lifting I stick to my usual calorie intact.

In the midst of all of this I continue to monitor my body fat. If that's going down too much then I'm out of balance. If it's going up then I'm eating too much and I need to scale it back. As I'm increasing my running I need to be increasing what I eat on those days and monitoring my energy levels the other days.

How about you? Are you following any kind of diet to produce best results? Does your diet match your bodies requirements? I still feel like a novice in understanding what's best for fuel and dieting. Any pointers are greatly appreciated.

11 weeks to go.